Iceland: Reykjavík, Cats, & Monkeys

Overnight, I tossed and turned and turned and tossed. At one point, I woke up and thought I saw Samara from The Ring in the corner. That was some terrifying shit! There’s nothing like seeing a long-haired ghoul in the corner of your hotel room to get your heart racing. I turned on the light and found our coats hanging on the coat rack.

Once we did get up and moving for the day, we headed downstairs for our hotel’s buffet breakfast. The spread covered everything: danishes, assorted breads, charcuterie, lox, eggs, bacon, casseroles, yogurt, fruit, and cereals. The breakfast crowd all around us chatted about their plans for the day while we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, fully recognizing that we were at the end of our adventure.

I have to admit I was wrecked. We failed to bake in some relax/recharge days into our itinerary, and I was feeling it. My mind had already turned toward home, and I was yearning for familiar surroundings.

Trying to shake off my desire to crash, we took off on foot to explore the city. Although Reykjavík is Iceland’s largest city, it feels like a smaller, pedestrian-friendly town. It is easy to get from place to place without a car or taxi.

For the novelty of it all, we went to the penis museum…um, The Icelandic Phallological Museum. Their website is simply phallus.is. The museum contains some penis art, but it focuses on actual penises in jars. I cannot remember the latest count, but the museum features over 300 penises from various animals. Sad penises of all shapes and sizes surrounded me, but giggling cut through the sadness as we could hear people making jokes, and I will admit that I chuckled several times myself! It only took about an hour to wander through the exhibits. We found all sorts of hilarious items in the gift shop, including Iceland’s “Enjoy Our Nature” condoms. Here’s an example of one.

Next up, we visited the Saga Museum. The Icelandic Sagas serve as the foundation stories for sights throughout Iceland. According to the Iceland Travel website, “The Icelandic sagas, also known as Sagas of the Icelanders, were written in the 13th and 14th century. These proses are narratives based on historical events that took place in the 9th, 10th and 11th century.” I wish we had read up on the Sagas before traveling to Iceland just so that we’d have that context, but we enjoyed ourselves nevertheless and learned about the various stories from information boards throughout the country. At the Saga Museum, we strolled through dioramas depicting scenes from the Sagas. The figures look alive!

After our Saga Museum outing, we walked across the street to Flatey Pizza. We ordered the Tartufo pizza which “white pizza with fresh mozzarella, ricotta, mushrooms, Icelandic potatoes, trufe oil, sea salt and basil” (their menu). I don’t think I have ever had potatoes on a pizza. That’s some serious carb-on-carb action! Damn, it was so good!

After lunch, we decided to go back to our hotel to rest and regroup. Travel fatigue! Along the way we took some pictures beside the water.

After a brief rest, we muscled up the strength to keep going. Though we would have liked to visit more museums, we both agreed we wanted to walk the streets and see what we could see. I had two missions we needed to accomplish: rye bread ice cream and The Lebowsky Bar!

From our hotel we wandered the streets until we reached Hallgrímskirkja, Reykjavík’s Lutheran church and also the largest church in Iceland. The impressive church aligns with a statue of Viking Leifur Eiríksson (Leif Erikson). A white hearse backed up to the front of the church so we avoided inquiring about tours.

We turned to see Kaffi Loki across the street. You can try the notorious fermented shark at this cafe, which is something the locals do not bother eating but tourists love to dare each other to eat. It is also the place to go for rye bread ice cream. Does rye bread ice cream sound disgusting? Well, it’s not…by a long shot! I have been wanting to recreate it since we ate it, and I don’t think it would be hard. Basically, crumbled rye bread mixed with brown sugar, cinnamon, butter, etc folded into vanilla ice cream. I need to try this recipe. That day we each enjoyed a cafe latte and a cup of rye bread ice cream.

Warmed and fueled by our lattes, we walked down Rainbow Street to Laugavegur, Reykjavík’s main retail steet. Along the way, we saw a couple wearing our exact REI rain jackets. Graham even accidentally talked to the woman, thinking it was me. Laugavegur = Tourist Trap! After being out there so far into Iceland where we felt like we were two of only a handful of tourists, we slammed directly into hoards of tourists on Laugavegur. Every other shop carried the same knick-knacks. Icewear appeared on every corner. Here and there we found shops with handmade items, including some decent woolen goods. I purchased a handmade, felted wool Jólakötturinn (Yule Cat) Christmas Ornament.

Speaking of cats, we discovered that Icelandic folks worship cats. Cats are EVERYWHERE! Shop owners welcome cats into their stores. Cat-themed street art, restaurants, gifts, clothing, cafes, and even sex toys!

After we got our fill of the shops, we popped into Lebowski Bar. Named after The Big Lebowski, this place caters to tourists. Normally, we shy aware from tourist attractions, but we just had to check out this place. Of course, they have a whole menu devoted to different kinds of White Russians. I don’t remember which White Russian I ordered, but it tasted like a milkshake, cost about $25 USD, and was totally worth it!

We returned to our hotel room to figure out where we would eat dinner. Along the way, we walked past a place named “Monkeys.” It looked very fancy, but I did not remember it being among the most-recommended in my research. We noticed that our hotel had an interesting art installation on top of one of its buildings, involving a waterfall made of hanging colored tiles (maybe made of metal) that looks like it is moving when the wind blows and that waterfall decor appears on the floors below as well.

We tried to make reservations at several places, and everything was booked up for the night. I guess Thursdays are often part of long weekends or long layovers for tourists. Graham asked about the “Monkey Place” again. I looked at the menu, and despite the lack of prices listed, I figured it would be okay. It had decent reviews. We made a reservation and went there.

Monkeys is a Japanese-Peruvian fusion restaurant. It had only been open two or three years (I think) when we went there. Walking into the restaurant is like walking into the jungle. Exotic plastic plants cover the ceiling, and the furniture and wall coverings have a whimsical 1920s flair. This might sound like tacky decorations, but it actually worked. If the lightning were not perfect, it could have looked like they raided a Michael’s store during a sale.

I ordered a spicy margarita cocktail. It arrived in a small glass with mostly ice and a price tag of about $25 USD. Compared to the giant cocktail at Lebowski Bar, this was a thimbleful of alcohol. A lot of craft cocktail venues have smaller drinks, and this one tasted mighty fine. Still, it was expensive. I should have known then what this meal would be.

We ordered some appetizers. Again, small portions for the price tags. I selected an over-priced glass of wine for my entree. We ordered what we thought were entrees. I got a tempura prawn dish, and Graham got a scallop dish. When my dish arrived, I thought it was a joke. The black bowl was cavernous with five tiny prawns the size of popcorn shrimp at the bottom. They gave me huge chopsticks for this entree. I felt like tweezers would have been more appropriate. Graham’s scallops were the same way, a tiny cluster of scallops in a giant bowl. I regret not taking pictures of these dishes. I could not believe my eyes! The food was excellent but not exceptional and not the best we’d ever had. Usually portion size does not even register for me as I typically prefer smaller plates, but this was insane! Prices usually don’t bother me either, but I could not believe how high these tiny meals cost. At this point, we had already spent about $200 USD, maybe more.

I thought for sure there were hidden cameras somewhere. This couldn’t be real! I looked around me at all these people tossing their heads back laughing and acting like they were eating the best food of their lives. Surreal! Then, the server came by and asked what we wanted next. Then I realized it’s a tapas restaurant! We’re supposed to eat more! I watched people getting plate after plate of these microscopic meals on giant dishes, and I started laughing. I told Graham I needed to get a hot dog on the way home. What the hell?! We cut our losses. We settled up and left, trying not to burst out laughing.

On the way back to our hotel, we contemplated getting hot dogs but decided we’d wait a bit and see how we felt. We’d had a full day of food. We weren’t starving, but our bank account sure was! Monkeys encapsulated all the stories you hear about how expensive Iceland is. Yes, Iceland is one of the most-expensive countries in the world (behind Switzerland and Norway), and I think Monkeys was trying to be the most-expensive restaurant. If you serve someone 5 tiny prawns for $35 USD, you’re bound to get a reputation.

Back at our room, we laughed and laughed and laughed. We could not get over the absudity of our dining experience. Maybe the giddiness of exhaustion had kicked in. Maybe we were just ready to be home.

Graham plunked down in the chair at the desk under the window in our room. We gathered all our receipts and wrote out the totals. We went through everything to figure out which items had Value-Added Tax (VAT) added to their totals. This tax is paid by Icelandic citizens but not U.S. citizens, and we had to complete paperwork to request a refund for VAT we paid. Graham started writing with dramatic flourish as though he had a quill pen, saying “Fare thee well, Iceland.”

After Graham completed his work, we decided against hot dogs and settled in for our last night of sleep in Iceland. We had our hotel arrange for taxi transportation to the airport the following morning. We had already packed everything except essentials. We were ready to go home.

The following morning our taxi driver met us in the lobby. We enjoyed talking with our driver on the way to the airport. He told us all about how the number of incoming flights increases dramatically every time a volcano erupts.

At the Keflavík airport, we met deep lines at the check-in counter. Airport security questioned us separately while standing in line and then again at the gate. We had never been through such thorough security protocols. Right before boarding, a security officer came through and did a final check on our tickets.

We enjoyed our flight home. We even enjoyed our layover in Chicago where we ate at the same Italian restaurant as we did before we left. Our kitties greeted us when we walked in the door, and several of them snuggled with us through the night. We were home again, but Iceland gave us another place to dream about revisiting, and we will one day.