On Turning 43

Rumor has it that women over 40 stop caring what other people think and start living their lives the way they want. If that’s the case, then I guess I’m stumbling in that direction with a glass of wine in hand. Yesterday I turned 43, and like most folks on a birthday, I thought about the previous year and what it meant for my growth. This past year marked some serious changes in my life as well as personal growth.

Career Breaking

After 19 years of working without any breaks, I left my job for a world of uncertainty. My dedication to my work blinded me to other possibilities in my life so I resigned from my job and took my first-ever career break. Years of introspection and planning lead to this decision, and though I get nervous about the future, I do not regret taking this time to sort out my life. Giving myself the space to get in touch with my interests and figure out what I want out of a career should make me a better employee in whatever I do next.

Freelancing

Using the skills I acquired in previous full-time positions, I started offering my services as a freelance web consultant. It feels good to use my knowledge to help others. I keep the scope of my work limited to setting up, configuring, and styling pre-built WordPress themes. This opportunity allows me to make some money while getting in touch with the fundamentals of self-employment such as invoicing, collecting payment, keeping track of expenses, working with clients, etc. I have decided that even when I return to full-time work I’ll continue to offer my consulting services.

Writing

After years of neglect, I am writing again. I cannot say that everything I write is good. I cannot even say that 50% of it is good, but I can say that I am enjoying this opportunity to write. I always wondered what I could do with my writing skills if I had the time. Though I used my writing skills for emails, site update instructions, and user stories everyday at work, I felt too drained at the end of each day to explore my creative side. Self-doubt had crept into my mind and convinced me that I could not recapture my passion for writing. Without the pressure of a daily work schedule, I regained my confidence, and now I enjoy writing again.

Reading

Reading goes hand-in-hand with writing. I’m a slow and very thorough reader, and I often commit tons of information to memory. My reading so far this year covers horror, romance, mystery, thriller, and non-fiction.

Volunteering

Though I intended to begin volunteer work at the start of my break, I finally started getting involved in the last few months. I became a precinct chair and delegate for our local Democratic Party. I will begin serving as a docent for our local museum next week. I started my paperwork for membership in the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution). I am enjoying meeting new people and participating in my community. Rather than spending my days working in another town and barely leaving my house when I wasn’t working, I am interacting with folks in my hometown and giving back to the community. Plus, taking in some homeless kitties and their offspring turned my house into my own private pet shelter…just kidding (well, sort of).

Thinking

Career breaks foster reflection and reevaluation. I recognize now that I have spent most of my life being a pleaser and doing things I think I “should” do. To make matters worse, at some point in my mid to late 20s I stopped listening to my gut. I started doubting my intuition. The decision to take the career break came from my gut. My gut had been telling me for years that I should do this one thing for myself. My gut told me that if I didn’t reconnect with my passions and rediscover who I am as an adult that I would wake up at 80 wondering what happened to my life.

At 43 I’m on the road back to me. I do not doubt the path I’m traveling, and I try not to look too far down the road. I am wiser now about what I want, how I want to live, what matters, and what sacrifices I am and am not willing to make. The 80 year-old me will thank me for making these changes now.