Sometimes You Have to Get Real
I have been thinking about this post for a long time. In fact, I have written several versions in my mind, but none of them have made it into physical or digital form. As anyone visiting this blog can tell, I haven’t been writing much. I haven’t been gardening much either, so you aren’t missing anything there. This past month, I made the effort to take a good long look at my life and determine what changes I can and should make.
When I started this blog, I thought writing about my gardening adventures would help me focus less on my day job and more on my life, including hobbies such as writing and gardening. The lack of balance is the crux of my problem, and it has been for a while. I have allowed work to control my life, and while I spend my energies working or thinking about work, my life has passed by me. I work in a high-stress job, and I’m responsible for keeping the ball moving for multiple projects. Most days I feel like a juggler, and some days I truly wonder how I stay on top of everything. It is exhausting, but I allow it to invade my personal space way too much. Fortunately, I have lived long enough and worked long enough to know that this is a problem with me, not any particular job.
Though I don’t want to be a Type-A personality, I am. I have high expectations for myself and others. I take on way too much responsibility, and I take ownership of everything I touch. Projects get personal with me, and I have a hard time maintaining perspective. I spend just as much time worrying about work as I do actually working. On our recent vacation, I noticed that it took half of the week for me to disconnect, and I could feel the stress rising with each day I drew closer to the end of vacation. That should not be the norm for anyone. My job is not who I am, and I need to take back my life!
As for the gardening side of things, I will admit that my interest in gardening has waned. A massive case of poison ivy spoiled my summer early on, and after I hired someone to help me with the bigger tasks, I realized how much I’d rather plan a garden than weed it. I’m a day dreamer and a planner but not the best implementer. Whether or not I get back into the gardening groove remains to be seen, but for now, I am at peace with my laziness.
Getting real means looking at what I want to change and how I want to live my life. Admitting that I have a problem with balance is the first step. This Night Owl’s garden needs some work, and I will share my adventures about how I reclaim my life.
FYI…The control freak in me usually agonizes over a post. I edit and edit and edit. Well, that keeps me from posting more frequently, so I’m letting that go too! Please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors as well as missing words (I sometimes skip words accidentally). Now, I’m hitting “Publish!”
