A Very Mossy Experiment

You know you are a total gardening nerd when a friend gives you a Moss Milkshake as a birthday gift, and you love it! You might be asking what a Moss Milkshake is. I know I did. When I first looked at the milk carton container, I was a bit confused. The pictures of lush moss gardens on the container transported me to my fantasy moss yard world. I read the blurbs all over the container and got so excited at the prospect of carpets of moss. Poking around on Amazon, I noticed the reviews were not stellar (seriously, there were only two reviews), but I thought this milkshake o’ moss could be a lot of fun. My mind jumped to the perfect spot for the mossy experiment.

My yard features a very old fish pond. It has years of leaves and debris in it, yet it also has unusually hardy goldfish. I don’t know how the fish live. It’s a mystery. I can only assume they have their own ecosystem in full swing. I’m sure mosquito larvae, algae, random bugs, and plant matter keep them well fed.

The fish pond is surrounded by ferns, hostas, bleeding hearts,… and weeds. My entire yard has issues wild violets. They are prolific, and honestly, they are fairly attractive as far as weeds go, but I’ve got way, way too many of them. My Mom kept telling me I should put down landscaping cloth and mulch, but that felt way too formal for me. I want the space to exude natural beauty, not manicured precision.

Today, I weeded the area around the fish pond and prepped the soil for the Moss Milkshake. In prepping the soil, I didn’t do much. I just fluffed up the soil a bit after pulling the weeds. I encountered my most-hated weed, poison ivy, on two occasions, but I’m hoping I don’t have a lasting reminder. I also planted some chickens and hens along the sunny edge, a little ground cover plant, a few random succulents of unknown lineage, and two nice ferns.

When I opened the Moss Milkshake, I discovered that non-chlorinated water is recommended. I was planning to use tap water so I needed to make an adjustment. After digging around in the yard, I looked like something from a swamp, and I didn’t want to have to clean up only to get dirty again. Fortunately, my husband was running to the grocery, and I was able to slip in my distilled water request.

When the distilled water arrived, I mixed it with the contents of the Moss Milkshake, and it made a slurry that set up in 5 minutes. The water activated the dehydrated buttermilk and moisture-retaining gel and suspended the dried up moss. The consistency made me think about the slime on “You Can’t Do That on Television.”

I slathered the mossy concoction over the area with my hands trying to touch the existing moss edges for good results. The slurry covers about 20 square feet. I was able to coat the shady sides of the pond but not the rocky back part with the big ferns. Of course, I hopped on Amazon and ordered another container, so I should have the back part covered by the end of the week.

Results can take three to six months to show, and I’ll need to keep the area misted. I’ll definitely post photos with progress.